langwidere: sherlock holmes and dr. watson, from the recent bbc series (totally going for the kiss)
All right! So. Yes. Armageddon happened/is happening in Japan! That is/was pretty awful, is/wasn't it? Also, additionally, ew, America is now engaged in a fun new war with some profoundly unlucky Arabs who were no threat to our security in either the short term or the long term, and also, randomly, there's going to be a guaranteed-awful Buffy reboot appearing in a theater near you, so it looks like God or the Spaghetti Monster or Father Dis or Satan or whomever has a hand steering the tiller of fate really, really liked 2005. Um. I was following news of the inspiring uprisings in the Middle East & North Africa as closely as it is possible for someone like me to follow them, and then things started kind of turning to shit, with US-backed dictators & their armies turning on their own people or on people adjacent to their empires, Sarah Palin launching herself at India and talking in public, the American establishment ignoring/laughing at pro-democracy protestors all over the place because all the American establishment cares about is who will sell it oil and protect Israel's nutty interests, etc. and so I stopped. Also, I am not going to say anything about the horrors people have suffered/are suffering in Japan, because what would I say? Gee, bummer? Hope things turn around for you soon, Entire Nation of Japan? Nothing is the way to go there. If we went with a little more "nothing" in this horrible, horrible country, just in general, I think the world would really be a better place (no homo) (literally).

Also, speaking of which, I am not ever voting again*. I don't care who gets elected president next. I don't care if the sticky illiterate scooter-powered hordes elect John McCain, or Haley Barbour, or a genetic recombinant of Jefferson Davis and Ronald Reagan, or Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Fuck you, America. I hope the evil clown (by which I mean "Haley Barbour") eats every last one of you.

Anyway, so, watch as I change the topic with painful obviousness:

Sherlock
I still can't find my damn links, which I know are around here someplace, but let's give it a go anyway. As the official last person to comment on this series I will keep things really brief, because I love you. But, so: Firstly, I would like to draw a distinction here between Sherlock the show, which is a flashy, fun, showbiz extravaganza on the order of Doctor Who, which I find pleasantly mediocre but not terribly exciting, and Sherlock the Sherlock, who is an entirely separate order of awesomeness. I'm not sure Sherlock the show is really picking up what Conan Doyle put down in his stories (although I was impressed by the Victorian-appropriate characterization of Chinese mobsters -- AND WHAT, BY THE WAY? -- in The Blind Banker; spot-on, lads! tally-ho! view-halloo!), but I cannot say enough drooly things about Benedict Cumberbatch, whose theatrical, neurotic portrayal of the totally impossible title character is every bit as accurate and arresting as Jeremy Brett's iconic interpretation. I cannot wait until he is actually forced to play the violin on camera. Word. Secondly, I want to say that Martin Freeman's intolerably cute Watson is pretty much the reason the show is historical-grade teevee entertainment: Sherlock is a compelling but remote archetype, the antecedent of a long line of shadowed arbiters of chaos who stand between ourselves and darkness -- but Watson is the human lens through which Sherlock's abnormal brilliance is both refracted and magnified. To that end, Sherlock's Watson is somehow both perfectly ordinary and unique. His slate is blank enough that he can serve as a Mary Sue for fanfic authors all over the internet; simultaneously, though, he's so specifically calibrated that he's really difficult to write correctly. Freeman somehow communicates his epic, melancholy good-guyness by just wandering into a scene and standing in the background wearing a slightly worried expression -- this is pretty close to being a magic trick, actually -- and his obvious appreciation of Sherlock's talent comes off looking like a natural reaction, with no hint of fantardian, zeta-male creepiness. He and Sherlock, together, form a unbroken continuity of Victorian heroism. They could be horsed. It is adorable. Uh, there were things about the show itself that I liked a lot, too, including a really neat opening-episode montage that depicted Sherlock charting the streets of London on a backlit mental map while chasing a cab, the characters' pedestrian fondness for technology, and the improbable architecture of 222B Baker Street (← ETA: BAHAHA ♥). But honestly, I think that the actors, all the actors, could've been performing on a blank stage to similar effect. I find peculiar the idea that the series is 'derivative' -- the joke there, of course, is that the "detectives" of CSI, Law & Order, and NCIS et alia have been using Sherlock Holmes's magical, science-free backwards processes of deduction to solve crimes since their inception. In this case, the origin-story is merely taking back its own territory. (Haters gonna hate.) I give the series an A-, splitting the difference between the production's solid B and the actors' A+.
(Also, Lestrade is hot.)
Yes, that was "really brief."

Anybody hiding any good anime around here anyplace? I didn't even bother to finish Hakuouki; it was becoming dangerously historical. Apparently there are some OVAs coming out this summer. Yay?

I should stop announcing my web projects months in advance, I think. Probably nobody cares, but it takes me actual non-hyperbolic years to get shit online. Right now I'm having some trouble typing up scripts, for example. I do a couple of pages and then wander off to play Angry Birds for an hour.

Links
1. Check out "The Pen," by Veda, an era-appropriate Victorian gothic romance which is hot, sweet, and actually kind of creepy. Hard to hit all those targets at once, I imagine.
2. Anybody recognize the artist for this totally NSFW picture? Looks a little like Mentaiko, but sort of not. Maybe his style is evolving.
3. These sorts of things tend to annoy me -- I have to walk past Jonathan Safran Foer's idiot new book with my hands in my pockets to stop from punching myself in the head (something at which I am fairly practiced after more than a decade of bookstore-related exposure to TokyoPop's oeuvre) -- but I think this one is really, really pretty.
4. Crows: They're like people, only not completely worthless and full of shit!
5. I haven't actually watched this yet, but everybody seems to think it is amazing.

Haven't had one of these in ages:



Also, too:



Also, I am both Tumblring and Twittering again, because usually I don't have enough material for an actual post and I'm probably also preoccupied trying to figure out if that sentence-terminal て means "please do or don't do [verb]" or "I am a mangaka who likes run-on sentences."

The end.


* The Daily Beast is profoundly retarded, but in this case we're giving it a pass.

ETA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUYYYYY!!!
langwidere: two characters from a gay-themed web comic embracing (melons in love)


the further a poem strays
  from the rigid, mannered conventions of antiquity —
with their obedient end-rhymes & colossal, world-girding installations of
        ceremonial metaphorical structure and formal language, the more
  likely     a
    p   o   e     m   isto
      be about
some fucking illiterate idiot/moron’s
  f         e     e     eeeeeeeeeeee
      e
    l
            i
      nnnnnnnnnnnng
          s.

Although watching this cretinous dipshit try to mope around while wearing bear legs would in fact be fairly entertaining.

This, Sekaiichi Hatsukoi ("World’s Best First Love"?) ("Gag Me In The Face"?), is the only BL anime this spring. Ew! I guess Nakamura Shungiku actually is the only BL mangaka working in Japan these days. No, really; Suzuki Tsuta lives in a wormhole in Denmark and sends all his her releases out through the coinslot in the Tardis as origami chickens. That’s why nobody can license any of his her works and animate them. I assume this is the case, anyway. It’s the only reasonable explanation I can think of.

MERRY CHECKER!!

ETA: My mom wins all of everything, because when I told her about the incipient Good Omens mini-series (FOUR HOURS LONG!!) she was like, "Oh. Only four?" And I was all, "But that’s at least two more than a movie! How many hours long do you think it should be?" And she said, "However many hours it takes to, um, act out every word in the book." Which is just rational, really.
langwidere: a fox-eared lamento character (キツネ耳)
Wheeeeee~!! There was snow and rain and wind last week and it killed my power/phone/internets/will to live for three days, and then upon finally being able to boot my somewhat elderly computer I discovered that my external HD was having digital seizures (it would randomly load and then disappear and then become unwritable or unreadable, etc.), so I spent four fun-filled days panicking/backing up files/buying and installing a new drive/auuugh. Naturally all my shit did not fit on my somewhat elderly computer’s hard disk at once, so I had to do it in batches and wait for my dying external drive to gradually cycle through its various stations of the electronic cross before I could get everything off it. Haha, fun.

Anyway, so, how have you been doing? Good? Okay.

I have nothing for you, go away.

No, no, I’m just kidding. I have… some links!
Click them, click them! )

I’m going to start twattering my links when I find them, from now on. In case you live for my linkposts (MOM!!).

Also I made a new layout for Cynn Corvus, out of that old drawing-ish thing I made in 2009 that looks a Anglo-Japanese lady cosplaying as the Virgin Mary dressed up as a kitsune in a kabuki play. Awesome, I know already.
I’ll put up a new index in the next couple of days, as soon as I find some nice artwork to deface make one.
I think everything else is good for a few months. It better be!
I’m thinking of making The Heart Goes 9 into a DW comm (I should have content going up in a couple of weeks). It would be much easier for me to structure entries, especially at first when I am guaranteed to have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. Also I would have more control over who has access to my translations, in the event that somebody tries to fuck with me (I do not anticipate that this will happen at all — but we are talking about a potential audience composed almost entirely of fujoshi of various stripes, so anything is possible). Obvs I would leave the thing open unless I was forced to lock it. Also I wouldn’t have to make a layout!

Anybody care? Silence = "no."

ETA: Is our children learning? This is was probably posted by a future President of the United States.

langwidere: i am repulsed by wholesomeness. (no idea but real pretty)
My cat had to have one of her canine teeth pulled. Last Wednesday. The other canine tooth is beginning to loosen, too, and will have to come out sooner or later (let’s hope for "later" — I’m actually hoping to wait until it’s almost out on its own and can be yanked with forceps like the first one, because she is almost fifteen years old and has asthma and I don’t want her sedated unless there’s no other option). Of course, she was fine as soon as she got out of the cat carrier when we came from the vet’s office, and I spent four days crying intermittently because I love her to pieces and the only heirloom bequeathed to me by my bevy of Irish-American ancestors is the Sentimental Weeping Idiot gene. (The rest of her teeth are, to quote the vet, "fantastic for fifteen." So, that’s weird, probably, but really good? Please?)

Anyway. So, I still have people’s Christmas presents sitting on the piano. In the future I will invent some kind of new Christmas/Valentine’s Day hybrid celebration in order to clear my conscience in these sorts of situations. I was able to upgrade most of the cards, however. ♥

Loooooooong post. )

SOME LINKS, FOR JESUS BETTY FRIEDAN:
1. This Paul Krugman story is hilariously topped with the words "Can Europe Be Saved?" (implication: no!!!!), but it’s actually about the ill-considered adoption of the Euro. It is not interesting, but if you like that sort of thing it could be useful, potentially.
2. This is the very hilarious review of 43’s awesome novel Decision Points, by the London Review of Books. I just now noticed it exists, because it was linked by Wonkette. I am not up in the London Review of Books on the regular.
3. From The Guardian, a piece on the fiction/internets ouroboros which I have not yet finished reading myself.


These are better screenshots of my new boyfriend, who looks, upon close inspection, like he wandered out of Labyrinth, limping, after David Bowie was finished with him. I hope he will be named something like 'Valumphis Stagne.'

This season of American Idol is too boring even for my granny.

On the other hand, this is very funny.
ETA link, because the iframe wouldn’t load.

I recently learned that I am the last person in all the world who downloads fansubs. I think this is because I originally visited Crunchyroll back when it was staffed by, I surmised, photosynthetic multi-celluar plant-people who were heroically fansubbing Naruto despite the fact that they lacked formal brain structures and spoke neither English nor Japanese — and I had my delicate sensibilities offended to an extreme degree. Also, I am not paying for fansubs. Ahaha! HAHAHA! What? Really? Are you kidding me? People are paying for fansubs? Voluntarily? Why? You kids today, with your fancy bullet trains and your Lawrence Welk records and your super-sweet iced tea.

Is that it? I think that’s it.

Next week: Sherlock! Probably. (And the Kindle.)
langwidere: the everything is terrible logo (everything really is terrible)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sum thots:
1. He looks a little bit like an actual Japanese person! Well, Gackt. But Gackt is technically a Japanese person! Technically!! TECHNICALLY!!
2. I am a little worried that we are headed into the Uncanny Valley with this shit.
3. It looks like maybe the silver-haired character is not a hyperfeminized ladyboy??
4. That music! :@
5. Where are Openly Gay Wolverine and Malibu River Phoenix?
6. That hair! :@
7. Was that David Thewlis driving the limo at the beginning?
8. The girl is pretty! So she is probably evil :<
9. Can you imagine how retarded the plot is going to be?
10. It sort of reminded me of the later, crappier Alien movies.
11. Oof.

I’m so bored! All my friends are too busy to play with me :[
I still haven’t sent out most people’s Christmas presents :]
Hmmmmm…

SUPER IMPORTANT ETA! ALSO, TOO. I am excited for this guy:



You know how I feel about imaginary men with long black hair and feathers. If he has a stupid accent, the site is already written.
langwidere: sailor moon, sailor mars, and sailor mercury (ラブリイー)
BORED. BORED. BORED!

From Noki: BAHAHAHAHA! Now Little Buddha will finally have some competition! (I used to own Little Buddha on VHS, incidentally.)

This is America, son! Where all the illiterate assholes are free — as assholes, and maybe, all creatures should be.

OH OH ALMOST FORGOT: SPEAKING OF WHICH. YAY! Fucking finally.

langwidere: two characters from a gay-themed web comic embracing (melons in love)
I updated my site!
1. I completely revamped Warn the Duke, edited and improved all the articles (including thinking up proper titles for them), and made a real layout. Which I actually like!
2. I posted my translation of Ryuunosuke Akutagawa’s Rashoumon — which took me six weeks to complete! And which utterly sucks! But at least it’s finished! Surprise!! I bet you didn’t really think I could read Japanese, did you? Hm? Hm?
3. I added a paragraph about Draco Malfoy to the Harry Potter article.
4. I also invented a new word, "hexenschmerz" (which might mean 'magic pain' in German, possibly), to describe the feeling of being disappointed by a fantasy epic. You’re welcome!
5. I revamped my fanlist page.
6. I edited all my Cynn Corvus articles.
7. I made a new layout and added two new entries to HE KINDLY STOPPED FOR ME.
8. New index page!
9. Put up a pageholder for The Heart Goes 9, which is the first act in the elaborate ritual I perform before actually hoisting up some new content.

I’m gonna take a break for Christmas, but my next update will be the launch of The Heart Goes 9, which will feature as few as three or as many as five completed BL manga translations. My plan is to devote myself entirely to comics for the next few months, and then start on whatever that new Susanna Clarke site will be called. Once it’s up, I’ll just cycle through updates there and at HE KINDLY, interspersed with bi-weekly translation additions, until both sites are finished and I’ve accumulated a huge pile of comic scripts. And then, you know, Satan will lose his first snowball fight, leading to discord among the ranks of the damned, which will ultimately result in a total revolt — at which point the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will ride out, signaling the end of the world. Because, honestly. I don’t really do "plans." Ugh! So pedestrian. So touristy.

Um. I have the Garner & Tolkien article about ¼ finished, and the Sense & Sensibility review about ⅓ finished, so I’ll probably be posting them in 2012, after the world ends early next year.

Also! Also, I sent off approximately half of my Christmas cards! Am I awesome, or what?
langwidere: watanuki and doumeki from xxxholic linking arms (death becomes you)
OHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOEE!!!!



We’ll be together in heaven, AoshiToshi-sama.
(Assuming that God smiles upon woman/cartoon-character marriages.)
(AND WHY WOULDN’T HE? WHY WOULDN’T HE?? LOVE IS LOVE.)

Quoting.
langwidere: a fox-eared lamento character (キツネ耳)
DEAR SARAH PALIN ET AL.: JULIAN ASSANGE IS NOT AN AMERICAN CITIZEN. HE CANNOT BE TRIED IN THE US FOR "TREASON," FOR POSSIBLY OBVIOUS REASONS. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

Speaking of which: Merry Almost Christmas! Happy Already Hanukkah! Is there an Islamic winter festival? All I could find was Eid ul-Adha, which I think maybe happened in late November and which looks kind of party-crashingly somber, anyway. But Happy Eid ul-Adha, too, just in case it is meant to be an enjoyable occasion!

Thank you, everyone who commented on my last entry. Really. You seriously helped me out because I am very indecisive in the first place, and I am also secretly kind of glad that everybody voted for honorifics/keigo. (It is impossible to represent the overwhelming majority of "keigo" — oof! — in English, anyway, even if I really wanted to, but I will leave common salutatory stuff like "ohayo gozaimasu" and "itadakimasu" untranslated, etc.)

Um. I have been even more boring than usual lately, but I’m going to try and get my Christmas cards out on time this year. For you overseas recipients, that means I mailed them last Thursday. Oops! But just as soon as somebody invents a time machine, I promise. ♥

I stopped bothering to download Otome Youkai Zakuro. I may go for it again in a few weeks once I've entered the Great Holiday Stimulus Trench, when there's nothing on teevee and I've already rented the three worthwhile movies produced in the last fiscal year and they're playing the same five Christina Aguilera carols on the radio over and over and over again. And over. And over! They just can't ever seem to get enough of those Christina Aguilera Christmas carols, on the Pittsburgh radio stations.

I haven't really been watching anything lately; I haven't even been watching my beloved Hakuouki. (It is ultra-boring this season.) (And what will I do if they actually kill Aoshi Toshi at the end of the show? The whole point is that Toshi is now a zombie vampire and he doesn't ever ever have to die. Right? RIGHT??) In fact, I just now caught up with Togainu no Chi, because it is so interesting? I guess. Comparatively, it is, in fact, mildly entertaining, if for no reason other than that it looks as though it was animated by high-school students who were actually physically riding in a school bus at the time.

Did I do this already? Let’s do it again. Togainu no Chi is the story of a byooooootifal guy named Akira, who is Squall Leonhart's even more boring but openly gay little brother, who spends his days wandering around Toshima with his hands in his pockets, desperately trying to save his childhood (boy?)friend Keisuke from dying of a drug overdose. Keisuke is addicted to Line, or "Nicole," [?] a magical drug that causes you to become a homicidal lunatic for exactly as long as it takes you to fulfill your expository purpose, and then it kills you in a rain of angst and slobber-foam! Scary. Keisuke became addicted to Line because… um… Akira was mean to him? This is how most addicts begin, I think. "Waaaaah, I got yelled at! [*MAINLINES HEROIN*]" Akira is aided in his, uh, quest [?] by the mysterious and stubbled Momo, or something, who is an information broker/scientist/priest. Why not? WHY NOT. And also by a little blonde dude called Rin, who looks like a fourth grader's fanart of Sailor Moon dressed in scene gear from 2006. Driving the sale of Nicole/Line on the streets of Toshima are Arbitro, a guy we know is evil because he sports a version of the Rachel and he wears a Phantom of the Opera mask and he is an undiscriminating homo — and the sultry, albino, and otokorashii Il Re, who balances precariously atop the violent Igra social structure because he is the only person in all of Toshima who owns a real weapon. ("Il Re" is French for "thanks, but I have my own wind machine.") (In the Toshima of Togainu no Chi, naturally no one has ever heard of guns.) Hijinks ensue? Sort of. Very badly animated hijinks. There is some kind of alleged 'plot' here, I'm told, about evil governmental experiments designed to create the world's greatest solider, and homeless brainwashed orphans, and a civil war, and some truly awful characters who appear to have been evicted from Death Note in that final plot compression, but to be honest with you I kind of lost the plot in like the first fifteen minutes of the third episode and I'm not real eager to find it again.

Also, this dude named "n" keeps wandering around in the middle of the night making loud, ponderous, and impenetrable speeches about "colors." Which I deeply hope are symbolic of something, because honestly.

When will this happen?



Or this?



Get the money on-screen soon, ok? Guys? If I wanted to see slow-witted quasi-ironical commentary about the state of the Japanese government, I would watch Code Geass. (Or X/1999.) (Or Hetalia!) (Or the news, even.)
langwidere: severus snape (i think i’ll miss you most of all)
I know that everybody is probably pretty busy right now. And I am generally not much of a comment whore (of course I always like it if other people are able to enjoy/laugh at my posts) (although lately I’ve noticed that, after my extra-pointless entries have sat around at the top of the DW for awhile, somebody — usually [personal profile] starburns — dresses them up with a pretty pity comment, which is super-sweet but also makes me feel kind of weirdly guilty). But I am, like, literally begging you to comment on this post. I’m gonna leave it up for a couple of weeks, just hoping that lots of people will reply. You can comment anonymously! You can comment ten times! You can comment with a novel-length exegesis of your thoughts on yaoi! You can post three words, two of which are "fart"! I don’t care, as long as you register an opinion on these topics, because, uncharacteristically, I genuinely want to know what you think:

Every time you say goodbye, I cry a little. )

Lastly, would one of you rich, sexy, talented, physically beautiful Japanese-literate bastards like to tell me what "やったろう" means? Because it looks like the volitional case tacked onto the end of "やった," and I didn’t know you could do that. Or, is this maybe one of Japan’s many enthralling grammatical abbreviations, like "してる" or "ーちゃう," and I just can’t recognize it, because I am dumb? Thank you in advance.

Also, thank you for your comments. (Please post some!!)

P.P.S.This has nothing to do with anything, but I thought it was really, really funny. For some reason? (I’m hoping it’s Alan Rickman, too. Because she’s probably 40, and she wrote it herself.)
langwidere: a fox-eared lamento character (キツネ耳)
So, as we all know, I can complain about anything — and that, in fact, I prefer whining to commonplace gratitude. It makes me feel safe and happy. I could walk outside tomorrow and see the fragile dome of the daylight sky stretched above me, slack and content as a satisfied cat, and my reaction would be: Ugh, this fucking sky is so blue! Why is it so blue? Is this like some kind of an insulting paean to the marketing campaigns of the 1950s or something? I am not impressed with your homage to Americana, God. It hurts my delicate eyes!

So, of course, it will surprise no one that I am kind of down on the fall 2010 teevee season:
READ IT HERE FIRST! )

Lastly, I am still struggling, lady Hercules-like, with my awesome translatory surprise. So keep your calendars open (MOM).