langwidere: i am repulsed by wholesomeness. (i made it! it is true.)
It is alleged by the internet that Apple intends to come out with the latest in Mac mini technology later today. Oh, fingers crossed. Hopefully they won’t have moved the price point into another tax bracket and I will be able to afford a new one, and I can finally put poor malfunctioning Eugenie out to pasture. [EDIT: THE INTERNET LIED.]

I have been busy, sort of, but (dammit!) not busy enough. Also I have been a very bad DW citizen. I am sorry, I was reading actual books instead. A poor excuse, I know. Here are the things I would’ve posted, in order, had I been able to marshall the effort —

WARNING: This post is disturbingly long, even for me. Behind every one of those cuts is a 'normal-sized,' Emma-style entry. Even if you really love me (MOM!), do not attempt to read it all at the same time. Especially if you hope to keep loving me. And I really want you to keep loving me, really I do.







Also, I just received this book in the mail. I’ve been trying to get it off various specialty Japanese bookstores for years, and then on a whim I searched for it on Amazon, where I found it for sale for, like, $10 used. FOILED AGAIN, CAPITALISM! YOU ARE A WORTHY OPPONENT. It is the most perfect Japanese grammar book I have ever seen and I am kind of excited to get the chance to study it; the authors wrote it specifically to aid people who are interested in doing academic research in Japanese, and it features sentential structures that I’ve never seen anyplace else. Except in actual Japanese, I mean. (I hope to use it to — among other things — bring you some gay-themed comic content that does not involve, say, the presentation of love-rape as an adorable courtship ritual.) (Or that features some female characters who are not toxically obnoxious!) (Assuming such content exists, of course.) It also has an entire index of nonintuitive Japanese expressions involving "気," one of which (気を付ける, which means "be careful" or "pay attention," or more literally "fasten your essence," haha, what? what??) left me scratching my pointy head for a week when I saw it in a Suzuki Tsuta comic (I can’t remember which one, they’ve all merged together into one giant run-on sentence strung together with でs and のs that’s made of understated masculine angst and misconstrued regret with a light grey background and a cat on it, like a fictive, gay Voltron).

(Parentheses!) (Parentheses?) (Parentheses…)

Okay, done.
See you in July!
(Of 2015.)

i like cox.

Apr. 1st, 2011 03:28 pm
langwidere: a cintia dicker editorial (diet coke makes you beautiful)
I have some kind of gross stomach flu! Luckily, I am still on "spring break" (haha, it is snowing) so I can roll myself into the bathroom* as many times a day as I would like (I would not like to roll myself into the bathroom any times a day, to be honest) (well, maybe once a day). Disaster averted.

Also I have a very terrible new haircut. When my mother saw it, she said: "Oooo, it looks like you killed a rare and sacred bird and then put the carcass on your head!" I am still wondering, actively, whether or not she intended this comment to be a compliment. (It's just hair; I find these sorts of things merely annoying.)

Between the bathroom-rolls, I have spent all my time today watching a person called "Brian Cox" on the YouTube**. I first encountered Brian Cox at The Tinned Fruit Conundrum, as you do, and at the time I thought he was a cast member from Little Britain or something. In my defense, he is a physicist, and physicists are practically indistinguishable from comedians in nearly all applications. Also, I thought he was high. And wearing lipstick. I expected a man in a dress to come wandering into the scene and hit him in the face with a fish. Gradually I began to realize that he was a serious individual and probably neither actually really high nor wearing cosmetics, but instead of losing interest I somehow began to find him even more compelling. This is because I can't understand a word that comes out of his mouth (also he is incredibly good-looking and he has shiny black hair, two things which always help me to maintain my interest in anything). He smiles incessantly, for some reason, even when he is calling people fuckwits, so it is impossible to read his lips. His words have too many vowels, and not enough syllables. Trying to figure out what he's talking about is a process of discovery. I eventually realized, for example, that the often-repeated word "feeengz" means "things," because once I heard him apply the root "feeengh" to the prefix "nuff," to create the term "nufffeeengh," a cognate to the English word "nothing." This process is a million times more interesting than whatever dumb/boring space thing he is always blabbering about in inappropriately dramaturgical, Sherloquesque tones. ♥

Would you like to see some vaguely comical photos? )

* as you can see by the photos, I mean this literally

** What has happened to the YouTube today? I realize that the occasion of April 1 presents an utterly irresistible opportunity for asshats to promulgate sanctioned acts of blatant idiocy upon the internets, but I'm not quite understanding how the 1911 thing is supposed to be funny.
langwidere: sherlock holmes and dr. watson, from the recent bbc series (totally going for the kiss)
I just emerged from one of those endless related-image spirals at Ffffound. [*BLINKS*]

Nnnnerd. )

Anyway, I have just updated my translation of Rashoumon to accommodate Jamie’s incredible suggestions, so it is much, much better now than it was. By miles. Naked-man comics, here I come! (In a manner of speaking.)

DreamWidth keeps giving me codes, even though nobody I know wants them. Do you want them? Do you know anybody who wants them? If no one wants them I’ll post them to [site community profile] dw_codesharing.

I recently started following this tumblr, because it has photos of bunnies and cakes and retarded-looking himegyaru who have voluntarily disfigured themselves with adult-sized Hello Kitty toddler rompers and circle lenses. Um. Does that title say "kanji kana mixed sentence"? Why would it say that? Is that some famous quote from a movie or something? Because that would be kind of hot.

Almost Christmas!
langwidere: characters from gundam 00 (mighty hermaphrodite)

Top is the gazing balls in the yard. Bottom is the honeysuckle bower. Snow = pretty.
(Forgive the lack of straightness in the viewport; I am a terrible photographer.)

I guess I got the name of the protagonist in Rashoumon wrong; it’s actually "Menial." Hahaha! Ha? Just me? Sorry.

Some traditional Christmas links:
» Na Wong created this awesome Safari Extension, which single-handedly brings Google Reader out of 2006. Also, they’ve ported Reeder to the big OS, and you can download and use the beta right now. (I’m sticking with NNW for the moment; it is a clunky but functional behemoth.)
» I really like this DIY mason-jar chandelier, and if I weren’t practically guaranteed to burn down my house in the process I would try and make it.
» Yeah, that’s pretty much how I’d review it too.
» Your traditional Christmas Lucius Malfoy interview.
» The next time you see some libertardian jackhole talking about how hatecrime legislation is like totally criminalizing thought! in blog comments somewhere, hit the fucker with this. And then remind him that even after Atlas shrugs he will still never get laid, because he is a greasy loser who mistakenly believes that people who can sometimes fix computers are "producers."
» I wish all Blind Items went down like this :[

Seven days! Eeeee!
langwidere: two characters from a gay-themed web comic embracing (melons in love)
I updated my site!
1. I completely revamped Warn the Duke, edited and improved all the articles (including thinking up proper titles for them), and made a real layout. Which I actually like!
2. I posted my translation of Ryuunosuke Akutagawa’s Rashoumon — which took me six weeks to complete! And which utterly sucks! But at least it’s finished! Surprise!! I bet you didn’t really think I could read Japanese, did you? Hm? Hm?
3. I added a paragraph about Draco Malfoy to the Harry Potter article.
4. I also invented a new word, "hexenschmerz" (which might mean 'magic pain' in German, possibly), to describe the feeling of being disappointed by a fantasy epic. You’re welcome!
5. I revamped my fanlist page.
6. I edited all my Cynn Corvus articles.
7. I made a new layout and added two new entries to HE KINDLY STOPPED FOR ME.
8. New index page!
9. Put up a pageholder for The Heart Goes 9, which is the first act in the elaborate ritual I perform before actually hoisting up some new content.

I’m gonna take a break for Christmas, but my next update will be the launch of The Heart Goes 9, which will feature as few as three or as many as five completed BL manga translations. My plan is to devote myself entirely to comics for the next few months, and then start on whatever that new Susanna Clarke site will be called. Once it’s up, I’ll just cycle through updates there and at HE KINDLY, interspersed with bi-weekly translation additions, until both sites are finished and I’ve accumulated a huge pile of comic scripts. And then, you know, Satan will lose his first snowball fight, leading to discord among the ranks of the damned, which will ultimately result in a total revolt — at which point the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will ride out, signaling the end of the world. Because, honestly. I don’t really do "plans." Ugh! So pedestrian. So touristy.

Um. I have the Garner & Tolkien article about ¼ finished, and the Sense & Sensibility review about ⅓ finished, so I’ll probably be posting them in 2012, after the world ends early next year.

Also! Also, I sent off approximately half of my Christmas cards! Am I awesome, or what?
langwidere: severus snape (i think i’ll miss you most of all)
I know that everybody is probably pretty busy right now. And I am generally not much of a comment whore (of course I always like it if other people are able to enjoy/laugh at my posts) (although lately I’ve noticed that, after my extra-pointless entries have sat around at the top of the DW for awhile, somebody — usually [personal profile] starburns — dresses them up with a pretty pity comment, which is super-sweet but also makes me feel kind of weirdly guilty). But I am, like, literally begging you to comment on this post. I’m gonna leave it up for a couple of weeks, just hoping that lots of people will reply. You can comment anonymously! You can comment ten times! You can comment with a novel-length exegesis of your thoughts on yaoi! You can post three words, two of which are "fart"! I don’t care, as long as you register an opinion on these topics, because, uncharacteristically, I genuinely want to know what you think:

Every time you say goodbye, I cry a little. )

Lastly, would one of you rich, sexy, talented, physically beautiful Japanese-literate bastards like to tell me what "やったろう" means? Because it looks like the volitional case tacked onto the end of "やった," and I didn’t know you could do that. Or, is this maybe one of Japan’s many enthralling grammatical abbreviations, like "してる" or "ーちゃう," and I just can’t recognize it, because I am dumb? Thank you in advance.

Also, thank you for your comments. (Please post some!!)

P.P.S.This has nothing to do with anything, but I thought it was really, really funny. For some reason? (I’m hoping it’s Alan Rickman, too. Because she’s probably 40, and she wrote it herself.)
langwidere: the everything is terrible logo (everything really is terrible)
Translating is really hard! Not the Japanese part; except for the fact that I am still looking up every fifth noun and every third adverb, and I’m still trying to contend with all the weird phonetic abbreviations (which I guess you just have to memorize, after you’re able to actually recognize them?), the Japanese language is a lot like Legos. Once you figure out how the blocks snap together, it’s not all that bad. It’s just the "forming the sometimes unrelated-looking fragments it into English" part that I’m not so good at. It’s like analyzing Shakespeare: shit could mean one or all of eight or ten different things, so you kind of just have to pick one and stick with it.

(I’m half-way done, though! Excitement!)
(But then I have to move onto comics! Terror!)

Let’s pour one out for my very last all-links post, ok? These are mostly election-related entries, so I wanted to post them before they become utterly irrelevant (instead of just "mostly irrelevant"):

» This is a pretty good summary of how badly Americans have fucked themselves in the face with this last election. (Post contains an icky and possibly NSFW image as a header.)
» This is a post about Stephen Fry quitting Twitter (again), but it is outstandingly memorable for the content of its comments. Like, you think you have seen assholes posting asshole things in blog comments before? You have not really seen assholes posting asshole things in blog comments before. These could win the blue ribbon in the Number One Asshole Blog Comments in the Universe Contest.
» Rick Warren is, in fact, a giant cunt.
» On the other hand, occasionally I am not totally humiliated by my nationality.
» On the other hand — and if I had three hands like Zaphod Beeblebrox — I would use it to punch America in the face.
» This is as clear a picture of what the American electorate wants as it is possible to take, I think.
» And, when you have an electorate as reality-savvy as that, this is the kind of trash that gets into office.
» On the "fun" side: A Harry Potter link featuring a Malfoy (who is not talking about what it looks like he’s talking about). These are fairly hard to come by, for some strange reason.
» Another batch of photos featuring a really good-looking Asian-American man. That is always grounds for celebration!
» Some dude made his basement walls into a Sharpie coloring book. Neat!

Lastly, check out [personal profile] seichan’s amazing Japan vacation photo album. Tons of really great shots! (I like this one best, I think. Very National Geographic.)

Sniffles. It was fun while it lasted, linkposts.
langwidere: a john uskglass pixelbuddy (i came to my enemies in a RAIN OF QTE)
I am always having really bright ideas for blog posts while I’m sitting around in the backs of cabs staring out the window or painstakingly explaining to one of my students, yet again, what a preposition is and why we do not end sentences with them when we are writing research papers (MIDTERMS!!), and then I log into DreamWidth and my brain goes: RIBBIT.

Currently I am entertaining the dramz, which I will describe in loving detail once I’ve dealt with them, but I did learn a valuable lesson: Do not ever attempt to edit a freshly-made translation while you are having a panic attack. It does not end well for anybody (especially the commas).

Also I am translating five or eight different comics for The Heart Goes Nine, which I am hoping to have online sometime in the Christmas/New Year’s tunnel. I know I said exactly the same thing last Christmas, but luckily for me I am a prize-winning procrastinator: Last Christmas, I did not have any idea what the fuck I was doing. My concept of "の" as a nominalizer did not exist, for example. I did not know that から, when it shows up after a て-form verb, means "after," etc. (If you don’t give a shit about Japanese, you should know that these things are, like, super-elementary stuff a tiny Japanese child would be embarrassed to hear from a kindergarten teacher.)

But, I am much better now! Now, I am only surprised by things like the fact that "ってゆうか," which is one of Japan’s many exciting quotacular postpositions, can be shortened to "つーか," especially if you have animal ears.

I still want to babble about Sherlock, which I am going to watch for possibly the fifth time this weekend on PBS, and I also have a colossal post about the newer wave of "licensed" manga — but right now: RIGHT NOW YOU GET LINKS!

» This guy is going to be Dirk Gently! Which is a little odd, given that Dirk Gently is supposed to be a short, rotund, ethnically Scandinavian man, and also Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency is utterly unfilmable, but don’t let that distract you from the fact that somebody is making a Dirk Gently movie!

» I was poking around Edroso’s archives last night because I was bored/flipping out, and I found this thing and loled for ten minutes.

» Benedict Cumberbatch said some words and then somebody wrote them down. This doesn’t happen enough.

» Google keeps taking The Song of Lunch off YouTube because, like the new Final Fantasy trailer, it is highly sought after by copyright-disregarding, record industry-bankrupting, adolescent digital pirates? Really? That’s an interesting idea, Google. I think you may have missed a memo somewhere. Anyway, here’s the trailer. NOTE: I downloaded The Song of Lunch off TPB, and it was horrible. Really horrible. Boring. Stupid. It wasn’t even a real poem, anyway; it didn’t rhyme and there were no shipwrecks or anything. Everyone is all, nobody has filmed a poem on teevee for like a million years! And I’m like, dude, there’s a reason for that. (And you know I would watch Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman stir spaghetti sauce for an hour with stars in my eyes, so it can’t be my fault.)

» We are T-minus 33 days until the deployment of something Susanna Clarke wrote into our mailboxes. Yes, it is an essay about Jane Austen novels, but desperation has lowered our standards considerably.

I also have a new, readable layout, which I got from here and did not edit like at all.

Next week, then?
langwidere: i am repulsed by wholesomeness. (and the raven himself telling his beads)
I haven’t been around much because:

I have an infection in my lower left molar, and I’ve been on antibiotics and Vicodin for the better part of two weeks. The Vicodin mostly made me sleep a lot, and have vague hallucinations — like, at one point I thought I had birds in my ears, and I put giant salad-tossing forks in the same drawer with the dessert forks for some reason (maybe I really wanted to eat a whole lot of pie), and when I tried to translate I coined humorous new words: "when eating a meal" = "wheating a meal"; "in or at" = "ionor"; "an adjective" = "ad andjective"; etc. — but I didn’t get even one iota more brilliant, so I am suing Hugh Laurie for false advertisement (and also possibly alienation of affection, because House is now terrible).

I will have the tooth removed on August 6th, along with three wisdom teeth the dentist advised me would one day "give me trouble." (Perhaps they will join a crappy rural gang and begin hanging out on street corners smoking and terrorizing the elderly? Or get involved in an interstate check-kiting scheme? Hard to say for sure.)

Then, late last week, my deeply-adored older cat had a terrible, life-threatening asthma attack. I didn’t even know she had asthma :[

She is taking medicine temporarily, and will likely need a cat inhaler (who knew?) in the future, but she will be fine.

So, everything is basically okay, except I am almost three weeks behind my translating schedule and I will have to put off the manga site for yet another month YAY!. I also think that, after having made you wait for so long, I owe everybody some heinously amazing translations. 頑張る!!

Also I made all-new layouts for every one of my sites! When I can think clearly enough to code, I’ll put them up. Or, maybe not — I made them while I was high, so they might be awful and consist only of one-eyed happy faces.

But I’ll be out of commission for another couple of weeks. You can always e-mail me, of course, and I will be lurking around your various blogs when I’m awake(ish).

Which is, of course, a cue for the world to get a million times more interesting. Awesome stuff always happens when I’m offline. I assume that between now and the second week of August:
# Daniel Radcliffe and Alan Rickman will announce that they have fallen desperately in love with one another and are planning to travel to the Netherlands to get married properly aboard a replica Viking ship. In their Harry Potter costumes. Ian McKellen will be specially-ordained to officiate — dressed as Gandalf, naturally.
# It will transpire that the prime minister of Japan is secretly a robot.
# A British person named Alisdhair Soddington-Wankley will break an impressive new sports record.
# We will find out that the BP corporation has actually been leaking barbecue sauce, and not oil, into the Gulf of Mexico for the last three months. Everyone will have a good laugh.
# Those stupid bastards will actually finally discover the Higgs boson.
# Someone will invent a pill that cures heart disease completely, but leaves the patient with a lifelong, insatiable craving for pot pie.

Looking forward to it, right? See you then. ♥
langwidere: two characters from a gay-themed web comic embracing (melons in love)
I don’t think that I’ve looked at my 'reading list' once since I’ve opened this blog. I’ve visited people’s DW accounts, of course, but I’ve never technically patronized my 'circle.' Ooops! The point: I missed it. I’ll get on that, though :[

But, my breathtaking selfishness aside, Happy Toshizou Hijikata’s Hair Day! I think it’s really amazing that so many Americans are willing to put aside their differences on this most special occasion to commemorate something that’s near and dear to every patriot’s heart: Toshi’s beautiful, beautiful hair. Yes, Toshizou died a painful, untimely death because he was a total dumbass, and he apparently enjoyed killing his own men when they annoyed him, and he relished torturing enemy agents in unthinkable ways — but Jesus Christ, did you see that hair?

In Hakuouki, the writers understand that Toshi’s hair is his most precious and important virtue. When he’s bitching about something, his hair is sympathizing with his subordinates. When he’s snarling, his hair is grieving. When he’s fighting oni like an oni-fighting machine, his hair is also fighting oni like an oni-fighting machine — because it is Toshi’s hair, and Toshi’s hair is nothing if it is not a metaphor for a big, sharp sword (see example #2 below). That’s the reason there are so many extended shots of the back of his head; it’s far more emotional than the front. Without further ado, I give you:

It is, of course, the outrage the renegade oni commits against Toshi’s hair that gives him the strength to fight on, in the face of such critical disappointments:

How inspiring!

Hakuouki 12: I Spent Almost an Hour Making All These Gifs (Or, I Think I Need to Look Into Getting Laid, What Do You Think?) )

10 out of 10, where "10" represents Toshi’s hair.

ETA: Changed the title. Turns out I used that one before. (Oops!)
langwidere: a fox-eared lamento character (キツネ耳)
Hakuouki was less boring this week, but still: too much history, not enough Toshi. Also, he could be nakeder, and maybe wearing lipstick. Also.

Okita made a pretty adorable zombie, even for him (Yamanami is the worst zombie ever). I am kind of loving the vague implication that an undead Shinsengumi stalks the streets of Kyoto (or maybe Tokyo) even today. Because, as ineffective as they were when they were alive, shit has gone downhill precipitously since they died :[

(Like, the whole siding-with-Nazis-in-WW2 thing? Way embarrassing.)

I have nothing else to say.

Oh no, wait, yes I do! I discovered that In a Grove had twelve extra pages that I didn’t see at first, and in grief and despair I abruptly stopped translating it. Hee! I’ll have it finished by this weekend, though. Because you care so, so much. (HI, MOM!)