langwidere: the everything is terrible logo (everything really is terrible)
I wrote this on Thursday evening, which is when I intended to post it, but then I got bukkaked by my archenemy the Weather — who only this morning released his strangle-hold on my internets.

People have been talking a lot about Ayn Rand and Atlas Shrugged lately, because some really stupid fans made a movie about the novel. And, I know, anybody who has ever read (or attempted to read) Atlas Shrugged is flabbergasted by this turn of events, because Atlas Shrugged has the philosophical weight and the narrative impetus of a Cabbage Patch Kids Birth Certificate. It is a monstrously lame book, and every last one of its premises is bland, inert, and facetiously incorrect. You might as well make a movie out of a Chinese take-out menu. At least it would have attractive, distracting subtitles.

But I keep accidentally scrolling into the comments on articles like this, or that one. Or this one. Or that one.

…Maladjusted dorkwad glibertarian say what?

Jesus wept! )

Well, that was therapeutic!

I have three really busy days this week, and then shit gradually slows down to almost nothing for the rest of the summer. On that note, I have a couple of mind-blowingly awesome projects which I hope to share with you later in the season, and also I will get those fucking translations up soon wtf. I am also beginning to be gravely concerned by my treatment of Rashoumon, which, now I look at, it is really awful. Also I was somehow finagled into translating a light novel, which is so, so unbelievably gross, oh my god, you have no idea. All of those things will be making their way to a monitor near you sometime this summer.

Next post: Needs more Sherlock, and the Kindle, too — oops!
langwidere: two characters from a gay-themed web comic embracing (melons in love)


the further a poem strays
  from the rigid, mannered conventions of antiquity —
with their obedient end-rhymes & colossal, world-girding installations of
        ceremonial metaphorical structure and formal language, the more
  likely     a
    p   o   e     m   isto
      be about
some fucking illiterate idiot/moron’s
  f         e     e     eeeeeeeeeeee
      e
    l
            i
      nnnnnnnnnnnng
          s.

Although watching this cretinous dipshit try to mope around while wearing bear legs would in fact be fairly entertaining.

This, Sekaiichi Hatsukoi ("World’s Best First Love"?) ("Gag Me In The Face"?), is the only BL anime this spring. Ew! I guess Nakamura Shungiku actually is the only BL mangaka working in Japan these days. No, really; Suzuki Tsuta lives in a wormhole in Denmark and sends all his her releases out through the coinslot in the Tardis as origami chickens. That’s why nobody can license any of his her works and animate them. I assume this is the case, anyway. It’s the only reasonable explanation I can think of.

MERRY CHECKER!!

ETA: My mom wins all of everything, because when I told her about the incipient Good Omens mini-series (FOUR HOURS LONG!!) she was like, "Oh. Only four?" And I was all, "But that’s at least two more than a movie! How many hours long do you think it should be?" And she said, "However many hours it takes to, um, act out every word in the book." Which is just rational, really.
langwidere: a fox-eared lamento character (キツネ耳)
Wheeeeee~!! There was snow and rain and wind last week and it killed my power/phone/internets/will to live for three days, and then upon finally being able to boot my somewhat elderly computer I discovered that my external HD was having digital seizures (it would randomly load and then disappear and then become unwritable or unreadable, etc.), so I spent four fun-filled days panicking/backing up files/buying and installing a new drive/auuugh. Naturally all my shit did not fit on my somewhat elderly computer’s hard disk at once, so I had to do it in batches and wait for my dying external drive to gradually cycle through its various stations of the electronic cross before I could get everything off it. Haha, fun.

Anyway, so, how have you been doing? Good? Okay.

I have nothing for you, go away.

No, no, I’m just kidding. I have… some links!
Click them, click them! )

I’m going to start twattering my links when I find them, from now on. In case you live for my linkposts (MOM!!).

Also I made a new layout for Cynn Corvus, out of that old drawing-ish thing I made in 2009 that looks a Anglo-Japanese lady cosplaying as the Virgin Mary dressed up as a kitsune in a kabuki play. Awesome, I know already.
I’ll put up a new index in the next couple of days, as soon as I find some nice artwork to deface make one.
I think everything else is good for a few months. It better be!
I’m thinking of making The Heart Goes 9 into a DW comm (I should have content going up in a couple of weeks). It would be much easier for me to structure entries, especially at first when I am guaranteed to have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. Also I would have more control over who has access to my translations, in the event that somebody tries to fuck with me (I do not anticipate that this will happen at all — but we are talking about a potential audience composed almost entirely of fujoshi of various stripes, so anything is possible). Obvs I would leave the thing open unless I was forced to lock it. Also I wouldn’t have to make a layout!

Anybody care? Silence = "no."

ETA: Is our children learning? This is was probably posted by a future President of the United States.

langwidere: a john uskglass pixelbuddy (i came to my enemies in a RAIN OF QTE)
It transpires that I was somewhat busy this week, so no Sherlock for you. (Also I lost my Sherlock links; I’m pretty sure they’re around here someplace, though, cough.) Next week!

Instead, I submit to you these articles of wank, which I’ve been saving for Valentine’s Season:











1. Ew. I am not judging the book, which looks just as stupid and boring as every other book on this topic — but, I am a little worried about the ad copy, which seems to think that I am romantically desperate, fourteen, and possessed of a very short attention span.
2. Double ew. I am choosing to believe that this one is guerilla satire.

So remember, girls: Stay away from obscenely over-processed, prepackaged junk food/poison and try to maintain a strong, healthy, and athletic physique so that you will be appealing to "boys." (What "boys"? Where are these "boys"? Who are they? Presumably they are Morris Chestnut and Thelma & Louise Brad Pitt.) Because on the fucking internet it’s 1954, and the greatest psychological wound a woman could ever receive is failing to be regarded by strangers as a sex symbol. I know that these people are probably teenagers or in their very early twenties, and therefore biologically obligated to be retarded, but I am kind of offended that their obvious and twatty desire to be fap-objects is being treated as though it is an up-with-diversity, feminist grievance. Ugh. UGH.

Also I am not completely sure that any little girl would ever independently decide that she had to look like Barbie, who resembles a barrel-chested, tanned praying mantis, in order to be loved. Nor am I convinced that little boys find Barbies sexually attractive, yuck. I think that, left to their own devices, most little kids would just want to chew on Barbie’s rubbery feet. That’s what I remember doing with Barbie, most of the time.

And you aren’t allowed to be upset when your nicotine-inflected, drunk boyfriend cheats on you anymore? Really? Like, really? Because that’s going to be #16 on my 'Why Couldn’t You Make Me A Lesbian Like I Wanted, God? You Couldn’t Just Do That One Thing, Could You?' list.

My links are pretty weak-assed, too:
1. A Wonkette Reagan Beans thing. I know, but the comments are pretty funny.
2. An inspiring D.L. Hughley quote, via constantly-hysterical, horny, semi-literate Australian drama queen Yimmy Yayo (he does post some great landscape/historical/animal photos, though).
3. A deeply pathetic NYT article about the "bias" that exists against "conservatives" in the humanities. HAHAHAHAHA.

I’ll do better next time, coach!
langwidere: aisling and pangur bán (you must go where i cannot)
I don’t want to talk about Christmas right now, because it was a little depressing, and right now I am ENRAGED. WHY AM I ENRAGED, YOU ASK? WELL, THIS IS WHY. I THINK YOU DONE JUST SLAPPED ALL THE CUSSWORDS RIGHT OUT MY MOUTH, THE BBC. SHIT.

Here is a physical representation of my boredom, in HTML code, with musical numbers:
(It doesn't have musical numbers.)
Too bored to think up cut text. )

Lastly, many really awesome and apparently insane people visit my website!



In other news! IN OTHER NEWS, Legolas will appear in The Hobbit, which is only right and fitting given that part of the story takes place in Mirkwood, and he is the prince of that country. (Haha, I have been reading Narnia! Can you tell?) I am deeply alarmed by the fact that McKellen hasn’t signed on to be Gandalf again, however, and I will probably stampede later. All by myself. For great justice.

Please, man. Gandalf is the closest a dork will ever get to having a personal relationship with God.
You have to!
langwidere: sherlock holmes and dr. watson, from the recent bbc series (totally going for the kiss)
I just emerged from one of those endless related-image spirals at Ffffound. [*BLINKS*]

Nnnnerd. )

Anyway, I have just updated my translation of Rashoumon to accommodate Jamie’s incredible suggestions, so it is much, much better now than it was. By miles. Naked-man comics, here I come! (In a manner of speaking.)

DreamWidth keeps giving me codes, even though nobody I know wants them. Do you want them? Do you know anybody who wants them? If no one wants them I’ll post them to [site community profile] dw_codesharing.

I recently started following this tumblr, because it has photos of bunnies and cakes and retarded-looking himegyaru who have voluntarily disfigured themselves with adult-sized Hello Kitty toddler rompers and circle lenses. Um. Does that title say "kanji kana mixed sentence"? Why would it say that? Is that some famous quote from a movie or something? Because that would be kind of hot.

Almost Christmas!
langwidere: watanuki and doumeki from xxxholic linking arms (death becomes you)
OHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOEE!!!!



We’ll be together in heaven, AoshiToshi-sama.
(Assuming that God smiles upon woman/cartoon-character marriages.)
(AND WHY WOULDN’T HE? WHY WOULDN’T HE?? LOVE IS LOVE.)

Quoting.
langwidere: severus snape (i think i’ll miss you most of all)
I know that everybody is probably pretty busy right now. And I am generally not much of a comment whore (of course I always like it if other people are able to enjoy/laugh at my posts) (although lately I’ve noticed that, after my extra-pointless entries have sat around at the top of the DW for awhile, somebody — usually [personal profile] starburns — dresses them up with a pretty pity comment, which is super-sweet but also makes me feel kind of weirdly guilty). But I am, like, literally begging you to comment on this post. I’m gonna leave it up for a couple of weeks, just hoping that lots of people will reply. You can comment anonymously! You can comment ten times! You can comment with a novel-length exegesis of your thoughts on yaoi! You can post three words, two of which are "fart"! I don’t care, as long as you register an opinion on these topics, because, uncharacteristically, I genuinely want to know what you think:

Every time you say goodbye, I cry a little. )

Lastly, would one of you rich, sexy, talented, physically beautiful Japanese-literate bastards like to tell me what "やったろう" means? Because it looks like the volitional case tacked onto the end of "やった," and I didn’t know you could do that. Or, is this maybe one of Japan’s many enthralling grammatical abbreviations, like "してる" or "ーちゃう," and I just can’t recognize it, because I am dumb? Thank you in advance.

Also, thank you for your comments. (Please post some!!)

P.P.S.This has nothing to do with anything, but I thought it was really, really funny. For some reason? (I’m hoping it’s Alan Rickman, too. Because she’s probably 40, and she wrote it herself.)
langwidere: the everything is terrible logo (everything really is terrible)
I had a horrible time at the endocrinologist; she totally ignored everything I said and gave me, essentially, the same hormone-replacement therapy they give to older ladies going through menopause (and which is famous for contributing to reproductive cancers) (I am not going through menopause). And a beta blocker! Why? Ugh. Whatever. I’m going to try about half of the prescriptions and see if they work. If not, I’ll go to someone else. Here’s hoping, though!

(But I was severely vitamin-deficient in a bunch of different categories — which kind of kicks my "healthy balanced diet" theory in the head. I might as well just take the IBS treatment and eat at McDonald’s like everybody else.)

Anyway. I’ve been reading Huckleberry Finn lately, and I just noticed this:


"Call this a govment! Why, just look at it and see what it's like. Here's the law a-standing ready to take a man's son away from him — a man's own son, which he has had all the trouble and all the anxiety and all the expense of raising. Yes, just as that man has got that son raised at last, and ready to go to work and begin to do suthin' for him and give him a rest, the law up and goes for him. And they call that govment! That ain't all, nuther. The law backs that old Judge Thatcher up and helps him to keep me out o' my property. Here's what the law does: The law takes a man worth six thousand dollars and up'ards, and jams him into an old trap of a cabin like this, and lets him go round in clothes that ain't fitten for a hog. They call that govment! A man can't get his rights in a govment like this. Sometimes I've a mighty notion to just leave the country for good and all. Yes, and I told 'em so; I told old Thatcher so to his face. Lots of 'em heard me, and can tell what I said. Says I, for two cents I'd leave the blamed country and never come a-near it agin. Them's the very words. I says look at my hat — if you call it a hat — but the lid raises up and the rest of it goes down till it's below my chin, and then it ain't rightly a hat at all, but more like my head was shoved up through a jint o' stove-pipe. Look at it, says I — such a hat for me to wear — one of the wealthiest men in this town if I could git my rights."

"Oh, yes, this is a wonderful govment, wonderful. Why, looky here. There was a free nigger there from Ohio — a mulatter, most as white as a white man. He had the whitest shirt on you ever see, too, and the shiniest hat; and there ain't a man in that town that's got as fine clothes as what he had; and he had a gold watch and chain, and a silver-headed cane — the awfulest old gray-headed nabob in the State. And what do you think? They said he was a p'fessor in a college, and could talk all kinds of languages, and knowed everything. And that ain't the wust. They said he could vote when he was at home. Well, that let me out. Thinks I, what is the country a-coming to? It was 'lection day, and I was just about to go and vote myself if I warn't too drunk to get there; but when they told me there was a State in this country where they'd let that nigger vote, I drawed out. I says I'll never vote agin. Them's the very words I said; they all heard me; and the country may rot for all me — I'll never vote agin as long as I live. And to see the cool way of that nigger — why, he wouldn't a give me the road if I hadn't shoved him out o' the way. I says to the people, why ain't this nigger put up at auction and sold? — that's what I want to know. And what do you reckon they said? Why, they said he couldn't be sold till he'd been in the State six months, and he hadn't been there that long yet. There, now — that's a specimen. They call that a govment that can't sell a free nigger till he's been in the State six months. Here's a govment that calls itself a govment, and lets on to be a govment, and thinks it is a govment, and yet's got to set stock-still for six whole months before it can take a hold of a prowling, thieving, infernal, white-shirted free nigger, and — "


Huck Finn’s dad was the very first Teabagger!

(Cheer yourself up with this.) (Or by getting really drunk and passing out.)
langwidere: a fox-eared lamento character (キツネ耳)
So, as we all know, I can complain about anything — and that, in fact, I prefer whining to commonplace gratitude. It makes me feel safe and happy. I could walk outside tomorrow and see the fragile dome of the daylight sky stretched above me, slack and content as a satisfied cat, and my reaction would be: Ugh, this fucking sky is so blue! Why is it so blue? Is this like some kind of an insulting paean to the marketing campaigns of the 1950s or something? I am not impressed with your homage to Americana, God. It hurts my delicate eyes!

So, of course, it will surprise no one that I am kind of down on the fall 2010 teevee season:
READ IT HERE FIRST! )

Lastly, I am still struggling, lady Hercules-like, with my awesome translatory surprise. So keep your calendars open (MOM).
langwidere: characters from gundam 00 (mighty hermaphrodite)


Vom. It.
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