langwidere: the everything is terrible logo (everything really is terrible)
I wrote this on Thursday evening, which is when I intended to post it, but then I got bukkaked by my archenemy the Weather — who only this morning released his strangle-hold on my internets.

People have been talking a lot about Ayn Rand and Atlas Shrugged lately, because some really stupid fans made a movie about the novel. And, I know, anybody who has ever read (or attempted to read) Atlas Shrugged is flabbergasted by this turn of events, because Atlas Shrugged has the philosophical weight and the narrative impetus of a Cabbage Patch Kids Birth Certificate. It is a monstrously lame book, and every last one of its premises is bland, inert, and facetiously incorrect. You might as well make a movie out of a Chinese take-out menu. At least it would have attractive, distracting subtitles.

But I keep accidentally scrolling into the comments on articles like this, or that one. Or this one. Or that one.

…Maladjusted dorkwad glibertarian say what?

Jesus wept! )

Well, that was therapeutic!

I have three really busy days this week, and then shit gradually slows down to almost nothing for the rest of the summer. On that note, I have a couple of mind-blowingly awesome projects which I hope to share with you later in the season, and also I will get those fucking translations up soon wtf. I am also beginning to be gravely concerned by my treatment of Rashoumon, which, now I look at, it is really awful. Also I was somehow finagled into translating a light novel, which is so, so unbelievably gross, oh my god, you have no idea. All of those things will be making their way to a monitor near you sometime this summer.

Next post: Needs more Sherlock, and the Kindle, too — oops!
langwidere: sherlock holmes and dr. watson, from the recent bbc series (totally going for the kiss)
All right! So. Yes. Armageddon happened/is happening in Japan! That is/was pretty awful, is/wasn't it? Also, additionally, ew, America is now engaged in a fun new war with some profoundly unlucky Arabs who were no threat to our security in either the short term or the long term, and also, randomly, there's going to be a guaranteed-awful Buffy reboot appearing in a theater near you, so it looks like God or the Spaghetti Monster or Father Dis or Satan or whomever has a hand steering the tiller of fate really, really liked 2005. Um. I was following news of the inspiring uprisings in the Middle East & North Africa as closely as it is possible for someone like me to follow them, and then things started kind of turning to shit, with US-backed dictators & their armies turning on their own people or on people adjacent to their empires, Sarah Palin launching herself at India and talking in public, the American establishment ignoring/laughing at pro-democracy protestors all over the place because all the American establishment cares about is who will sell it oil and protect Israel's nutty interests, etc. and so I stopped. Also, I am not going to say anything about the horrors people have suffered/are suffering in Japan, because what would I say? Gee, bummer? Hope things turn around for you soon, Entire Nation of Japan? Nothing is the way to go there. If we went with a little more "nothing" in this horrible, horrible country, just in general, I think the world would really be a better place (no homo) (literally).

Also, speaking of which, I am not ever voting again*. I don't care who gets elected president next. I don't care if the sticky illiterate scooter-powered hordes elect John McCain, or Haley Barbour, or a genetic recombinant of Jefferson Davis and Ronald Reagan, or Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Fuck you, America. I hope the evil clown (by which I mean "Haley Barbour") eats every last one of you.

Anyway, so, watch as I change the topic with painful obviousness:

I still can't find my damn links, which I know are around here someplace, but let's give it a go anyway. As the official last person to comment on this series I will keep things really brief, because I love you. But, so: Firstly, I would like to draw a distinction here between Sherlock the show, which is a flashy, fun, showbiz extravaganza on the order of Doctor Who, which I find pleasantly mediocre but not terribly exciting, and Sherlock the Sherlock, who is an entirely separate order of awesomeness. I'm not sure Sherlock the show is really picking up what Conan Doyle put down in his stories (although I was impressed by the Victorian-appropriate characterization of Chinese mobsters -- AND WHAT, BY THE WAY? -- in The Blind Banker; spot-on, lads! tally-ho! view-halloo!), but I cannot say enough drooly things about Benedict Cumberbatch, whose theatrical, neurotic portrayal of the totally impossible title character is every bit as accurate and arresting as Jeremy Brett's iconic interpretation. I cannot wait until he is actually forced to play the violin on camera. Word. Secondly, I want to say that Martin Freeman's intolerably cute Watson is pretty much the reason the show is historical-grade teevee entertainment: Sherlock is a compelling but remote archetype, the antecedent of a long line of shadowed arbiters of chaos who stand between ourselves and darkness -- but Watson is the human lens through which Sherlock's abnormal brilliance is both refracted and magnified. To that end, Sherlock's Watson is somehow both perfectly ordinary and unique. His slate is blank enough that he can serve as a Mary Sue for fanfic authors all over the internet; simultaneously, though, he's so specifically calibrated that he's really difficult to write correctly. Freeman somehow communicates his epic, melancholy good-guyness by just wandering into a scene and standing in the background wearing a slightly worried expression -- this is pretty close to being a magic trick, actually -- and his obvious appreciation of Sherlock's talent comes off looking like a natural reaction, with no hint of fantardian, zeta-male creepiness. He and Sherlock, together, form a unbroken continuity of Victorian heroism. They could be horsed. It is adorable. Uh, there were things about the show itself that I liked a lot, too, including a really neat opening-episode montage that depicted Sherlock charting the streets of London on a backlit mental map while chasing a cab, the characters' pedestrian fondness for technology, and the improbable architecture of 222B Baker Street (← ETA: BAHAHA ♥). But honestly, I think that the actors, all the actors, could've been performing on a blank stage to similar effect. I find peculiar the idea that the series is 'derivative' -- the joke there, of course, is that the "detectives" of CSI, Law & Order, and NCIS et alia have been using Sherlock Holmes's magical, science-free backwards processes of deduction to solve crimes since their inception. In this case, the origin-story is merely taking back its own territory. (Haters gonna hate.) I give the series an A-, splitting the difference between the production's solid B and the actors' A+.
(Also, Lestrade is hot.)
Yes, that was "really brief."

Anybody hiding any good anime around here anyplace? I didn't even bother to finish Hakuouki; it was becoming dangerously historical. Apparently there are some OVAs coming out this summer. Yay?

I should stop announcing my web projects months in advance, I think. Probably nobody cares, but it takes me actual non-hyperbolic years to get shit online. Right now I'm having some trouble typing up scripts, for example. I do a couple of pages and then wander off to play Angry Birds for an hour.

1. Check out "The Pen," by Veda, an era-appropriate Victorian gothic romance which is hot, sweet, and actually kind of creepy. Hard to hit all those targets at once, I imagine.
2. Anybody recognize the artist for this totally NSFW picture? Looks a little like Mentaiko, but sort of not. Maybe his style is evolving.
3. These sorts of things tend to annoy me -- I have to walk past Jonathan Safran Foer's idiot new book with my hands in my pockets to stop from punching myself in the head (something at which I am fairly practiced after more than a decade of bookstore-related exposure to TokyoPop's oeuvre) -- but I think this one is really, really pretty.
4. Crows: They're like people, only not completely worthless and full of shit!
5. I haven't actually watched this yet, but everybody seems to think it is amazing.

Haven't had one of these in ages:

Also, too:

Also, I am both Tumblring and Twittering again, because usually I don't have enough material for an actual post and I'm probably also preoccupied trying to figure out if that sentence-terminal て means "please do or don't do [verb]" or "I am a mangaka who likes run-on sentences."

The end.

* The Daily Beast is profoundly retarded, but in this case we're giving it a pass.

langwidere: a john uskglass pixelbuddy (i came to my enemies in a RAIN OF QTE)
It transpires that I was somewhat busy this week, so no Sherlock for you. (Also I lost my Sherlock links; I’m pretty sure they’re around here someplace, though, cough.) Next week!

Instead, I submit to you these articles of wank, which I’ve been saving for Valentine’s Season:

1. Ew. I am not judging the book, which looks just as stupid and boring as every other book on this topic — but, I am a little worried about the ad copy, which seems to think that I am romantically desperate, fourteen, and possessed of a very short attention span.
2. Double ew. I am choosing to believe that this one is guerilla satire.

So remember, girls: Stay away from obscenely over-processed, prepackaged junk food/poison and try to maintain a strong, healthy, and athletic physique so that you will be appealing to "boys." (What "boys"? Where are these "boys"? Who are they? Presumably they are Morris Chestnut and Thelma & Louise Brad Pitt.) Because on the fucking internet it’s 1954, and the greatest psychological wound a woman could ever receive is failing to be regarded by strangers as a sex symbol. I know that these people are probably teenagers or in their very early twenties, and therefore biologically obligated to be retarded, but I am kind of offended that their obvious and twatty desire to be fap-objects is being treated as though it is an up-with-diversity, feminist grievance. Ugh. UGH.

Also I am not completely sure that any little girl would ever independently decide that she had to look like Barbie, who resembles a barrel-chested, tanned praying mantis, in order to be loved. Nor am I convinced that little boys find Barbies sexually attractive, yuck. I think that, left to their own devices, most little kids would just want to chew on Barbie’s rubbery feet. That’s what I remember doing with Barbie, most of the time.

And you aren’t allowed to be upset when your nicotine-inflected, drunk boyfriend cheats on you anymore? Really? Like, really? Because that’s going to be #16 on my 'Why Couldn’t You Make Me A Lesbian Like I Wanted, God? You Couldn’t Just Do That One Thing, Could You?' list.

My links are pretty weak-assed, too:
1. A Wonkette Reagan Beans thing. I know, but the comments are pretty funny.
2. An inspiring D.L. Hughley quote, via constantly-hysterical, horny, semi-literate Australian drama queen Yimmy Yayo (he does post some great landscape/historical/animal photos, though).
3. A deeply pathetic NYT article about the "bias" that exists against "conservatives" in the humanities. HAHAHAHAHA.

I’ll do better next time, coach!
langwidere: i am repulsed by wholesomeness. (no idea but real pretty)
My cat had to have one of her canine teeth pulled. Last Wednesday. The other canine tooth is beginning to loosen, too, and will have to come out sooner or later (let’s hope for "later" — I’m actually hoping to wait until it’s almost out on its own and can be yanked with forceps like the first one, because she is almost fifteen years old and has asthma and I don’t want her sedated unless there’s no other option). Of course, she was fine as soon as she got out of the cat carrier when we came from the vet’s office, and I spent four days crying intermittently because I love her to pieces and the only heirloom bequeathed to me by my bevy of Irish-American ancestors is the Sentimental Weeping Idiot gene. (The rest of her teeth are, to quote the vet, "fantastic for fifteen." So, that’s weird, probably, but really good? Please?)

Anyway. So, I still have people’s Christmas presents sitting on the piano. In the future I will invent some kind of new Christmas/Valentine’s Day hybrid celebration in order to clear my conscience in these sorts of situations. I was able to upgrade most of the cards, however. ♥

Loooooooong post. )

1. This Paul Krugman story is hilariously topped with the words "Can Europe Be Saved?" (implication: no!!!!), but it’s actually about the ill-considered adoption of the Euro. It is not interesting, but if you like that sort of thing it could be useful, potentially.
2. This is the very hilarious review of 43’s awesome novel Decision Points, by the London Review of Books. I just now noticed it exists, because it was linked by Wonkette. I am not up in the London Review of Books on the regular.
3. From The Guardian, a piece on the fiction/internets ouroboros which I have not yet finished reading myself.

These are better screenshots of my new boyfriend, who looks, upon close inspection, like he wandered out of Labyrinth, limping, after David Bowie was finished with him. I hope he will be named something like 'Valumphis Stagne.'

This season of American Idol is too boring even for my granny.

On the other hand, this is very funny.
ETA link, because the iframe wouldn’t load.

I recently learned that I am the last person in all the world who downloads fansubs. I think this is because I originally visited Crunchyroll back when it was staffed by, I surmised, photosynthetic multi-celluar plant-people who were heroically fansubbing Naruto despite the fact that they lacked formal brain structures and spoke neither English nor Japanese — and I had my delicate sensibilities offended to an extreme degree. Also, I am not paying for fansubs. Ahaha! HAHAHA! What? Really? Are you kidding me? People are paying for fansubs? Voluntarily? Why? You kids today, with your fancy bullet trains and your Lawrence Welk records and your super-sweet iced tea.

Is that it? I think that’s it.

Next week: Sherlock! Probably. (And the Kindle.)
langwidere: the everything is terrible logo (everything really is terrible)
For some reason — and despite the fact that it is officially the Future, now — we are entering a new ring of the never-ending Circus of Hurrrr! that is the perpetual attempts by various idiots to censor Huckleberry Finn. The latest assault has been launched, apparently, by some sort of professor or something — and they must not be making professors like they used to when I was a kid, because all my English professors were a minimum of 113 years old and they could not have been persuaded, ever, singly or as a group and even upon pain of death, to strike so much as one unnecessary "as" out of the Introduction to Grammatical Principles. Which is what God intended them to do; professors profess, they do not edit for fucking content. But, whatever. Look the story up yourself, it gives me an unwieldy and massive sad.

I understand that people don’t want to look at the word "nigger." I don’t want to look at the word "nigger," either — but, you know, probably the best way to stop being forced to look at the word "nigger" over and over is to make as many people as possible read Huckleberry Finn, unaltered and unabridged. Censorship, no matter how noble its intentions, doesn’t change history. (This is what we’ve been trying to tell Texas all along, you guys. You’re setting a bad example.)

What are we gonna take out next? The bigwords? The prejudicial representations of white Southern characters? The unvarnished portrayal of the horrifying effects of ignorance and poverty? Twain’s loathing for the British aristocracy? References to smallpox? And witchcraft? Should we turn Huckleberry into a middle-class female child, maybe? And Jim into her speech therapist? Because you can de-nigger the shit out of the book if it makes you feel better about yourself and your worthless white ancestors, but I want to see what’s left when you’ve gotten rid of all the rest of the objectionable content.

Because that’s what Huckleberry Finn is, you know: It is a novel-length objection to America, and to mankind. It is a perfectly-shaped literary weapon of perfectly-placed hatred and grief and rage. And as far as I’m concerned, if you touch so much as one comma, for any reason, you are Hitler.

As an American citizen, you are not allowed to hide from your own fucking history. If it’s so bad that you have to edit it to be able to stomach it, the primary problem is not the word "nigger," or any word at all, actually. The problem is that you are a fucking coward who has confused being offended with being injured. The word "nigger" didn’t make it into Huckleberry Finn by accident. It is not an embarrassing defect of Huck’s patois. Twain wanted you to read the book and squirm. He wanted you, the reader, to see how civilization turns every man that fits into it and keeps his head down and follows the rules and goes to church and believes in the importance of hard work and community spirit into a slave-owner or a murderer or an even worse variety of monster. You, the reader, are supposed to be appalled by the word "nigger." You are supposed to be appalled by American culture. You are supposed to be appalled by the vicious, conventional evils of humankind. You are supposed to be appalled by yourself.

You ought to crawl out of that book, heavy-hearted, burdened with all of Twain’s fatal sorrow and endless anger, and with some of your own to boot — and if you can’t or you don’t, then you might as well censor not just "nigger," but every other word in the English language. None of them will ever do you any good, anyway.


langwidere: sailor moon, sailor mars, and sailor mercury (ラブリイー)

From Noki: BAHAHAHAHA! Now Little Buddha will finally have some competition! (I used to own Little Buddha on VHS, incidentally.)

This is America, son! Where all the illiterate assholes are free — as assholes, and maybe, all creatures should be.


langwidere: characters from gundam 00 (mighty hermaphrodite)

Top is the gazing balls in the yard. Bottom is the honeysuckle bower. Snow = pretty.
(Forgive the lack of straightness in the viewport; I am a terrible photographer.)

I guess I got the name of the protagonist in Rashoumon wrong; it’s actually "Menial." Hahaha! Ha? Just me? Sorry.

Some traditional Christmas links:
» Na Wong created this awesome Safari Extension, which single-handedly brings Google Reader out of 2006. Also, they’ve ported Reeder to the big OS, and you can download and use the beta right now. (I’m sticking with NNW for the moment; it is a clunky but functional behemoth.)
» I really like this DIY mason-jar chandelier, and if I weren’t practically guaranteed to burn down my house in the process I would try and make it.
» Yeah, that’s pretty much how I’d review it too.
» Your traditional Christmas Lucius Malfoy interview.
» The next time you see some libertardian jackhole talking about how hatecrime legislation is like totally criminalizing thought! in blog comments somewhere, hit the fucker with this. And then remind him that even after Atlas shrugs he will still never get laid, because he is a greasy loser who mistakenly believes that people who can sometimes fix computers are "producers."
» I wish all Blind Items went down like this :[

Seven days! Eeeee!
langwidere: a fox-eared lamento character (キツネ耳)

Speaking of which: Merry Almost Christmas! Happy Already Hanukkah! Is there an Islamic winter festival? All I could find was Eid ul-Adha, which I think maybe happened in late November and which looks kind of party-crashingly somber, anyway. But Happy Eid ul-Adha, too, just in case it is meant to be an enjoyable occasion!

Thank you, everyone who commented on my last entry. Really. You seriously helped me out because I am very indecisive in the first place, and I am also secretly kind of glad that everybody voted for honorifics/keigo. (It is impossible to represent the overwhelming majority of "keigo" — oof! — in English, anyway, even if I really wanted to, but I will leave common salutatory stuff like "ohayo gozaimasu" and "itadakimasu" untranslated, etc.)

Um. I have been even more boring than usual lately, but I’m going to try and get my Christmas cards out on time this year. For you overseas recipients, that means I mailed them last Thursday. Oops! But just as soon as somebody invents a time machine, I promise. ♥

I stopped bothering to download Otome Youkai Zakuro. I may go for it again in a few weeks once I've entered the Great Holiday Stimulus Trench, when there's nothing on teevee and I've already rented the three worthwhile movies produced in the last fiscal year and they're playing the same five Christina Aguilera carols on the radio over and over and over again. And over. And over! They just can't ever seem to get enough of those Christina Aguilera Christmas carols, on the Pittsburgh radio stations.

I haven't really been watching anything lately; I haven't even been watching my beloved Hakuouki. (It is ultra-boring this season.) (And what will I do if they actually kill Aoshi Toshi at the end of the show? The whole point is that Toshi is now a zombie vampire and he doesn't ever ever have to die. Right? RIGHT??) In fact, I just now caught up with Togainu no Chi, because it is so interesting? I guess. Comparatively, it is, in fact, mildly entertaining, if for no reason other than that it looks as though it was animated by high-school students who were actually physically riding in a school bus at the time.

Did I do this already? Let’s do it again. Togainu no Chi is the story of a byooooootifal guy named Akira, who is Squall Leonhart's even more boring but openly gay little brother, who spends his days wandering around Toshima with his hands in his pockets, desperately trying to save his childhood (boy?)friend Keisuke from dying of a drug overdose. Keisuke is addicted to Line, or "Nicole," [?] a magical drug that causes you to become a homicidal lunatic for exactly as long as it takes you to fulfill your expository purpose, and then it kills you in a rain of angst and slobber-foam! Scary. Keisuke became addicted to Line because… um… Akira was mean to him? This is how most addicts begin, I think. "Waaaaah, I got yelled at! [*MAINLINES HEROIN*]" Akira is aided in his, uh, quest [?] by the mysterious and stubbled Momo, or something, who is an information broker/scientist/priest. Why not? WHY NOT. And also by a little blonde dude called Rin, who looks like a fourth grader's fanart of Sailor Moon dressed in scene gear from 2006. Driving the sale of Nicole/Line on the streets of Toshima are Arbitro, a guy we know is evil because he sports a version of the Rachel and he wears a Phantom of the Opera mask and he is an undiscriminating homo — and the sultry, albino, and otokorashii Il Re, who balances precariously atop the violent Igra social structure because he is the only person in all of Toshima who owns a real weapon. ("Il Re" is French for "thanks, but I have my own wind machine.") (In the Toshima of Togainu no Chi, naturally no one has ever heard of guns.) Hijinks ensue? Sort of. Very badly animated hijinks. There is some kind of alleged 'plot' here, I'm told, about evil governmental experiments designed to create the world's greatest solider, and homeless brainwashed orphans, and a civil war, and some truly awful characters who appear to have been evicted from Death Note in that final plot compression, but to be honest with you I kind of lost the plot in like the first fifteen minutes of the third episode and I'm not real eager to find it again.

Also, this dude named "n" keeps wandering around in the middle of the night making loud, ponderous, and impenetrable speeches about "colors." Which I deeply hope are symbolic of something, because honestly.

When will this happen?

Or this?

Get the money on-screen soon, ok? Guys? If I wanted to see slow-witted quasi-ironical commentary about the state of the Japanese government, I would watch Code Geass. (Or X/1999.) (Or Hetalia!) (Or the news, even.)
langwidere: the everything is terrible logo (everything really is terrible)
I had a horrible time at the endocrinologist; she totally ignored everything I said and gave me, essentially, the same hormone-replacement therapy they give to older ladies going through menopause (and which is famous for contributing to reproductive cancers) (I am not going through menopause). And a beta blocker! Why? Ugh. Whatever. I’m going to try about half of the prescriptions and see if they work. If not, I’ll go to someone else. Here’s hoping, though!

(But I was severely vitamin-deficient in a bunch of different categories — which kind of kicks my "healthy balanced diet" theory in the head. I might as well just take the IBS treatment and eat at McDonald’s like everybody else.)

Anyway. I’ve been reading Huckleberry Finn lately, and I just noticed this:

"Call this a govment! Why, just look at it and see what it's like. Here's the law a-standing ready to take a man's son away from him — a man's own son, which he has had all the trouble and all the anxiety and all the expense of raising. Yes, just as that man has got that son raised at last, and ready to go to work and begin to do suthin' for him and give him a rest, the law up and goes for him. And they call that govment! That ain't all, nuther. The law backs that old Judge Thatcher up and helps him to keep me out o' my property. Here's what the law does: The law takes a man worth six thousand dollars and up'ards, and jams him into an old trap of a cabin like this, and lets him go round in clothes that ain't fitten for a hog. They call that govment! A man can't get his rights in a govment like this. Sometimes I've a mighty notion to just leave the country for good and all. Yes, and I told 'em so; I told old Thatcher so to his face. Lots of 'em heard me, and can tell what I said. Says I, for two cents I'd leave the blamed country and never come a-near it agin. Them's the very words. I says look at my hat — if you call it a hat — but the lid raises up and the rest of it goes down till it's below my chin, and then it ain't rightly a hat at all, but more like my head was shoved up through a jint o' stove-pipe. Look at it, says I — such a hat for me to wear — one of the wealthiest men in this town if I could git my rights."

"Oh, yes, this is a wonderful govment, wonderful. Why, looky here. There was a free nigger there from Ohio — a mulatter, most as white as a white man. He had the whitest shirt on you ever see, too, and the shiniest hat; and there ain't a man in that town that's got as fine clothes as what he had; and he had a gold watch and chain, and a silver-headed cane — the awfulest old gray-headed nabob in the State. And what do you think? They said he was a p'fessor in a college, and could talk all kinds of languages, and knowed everything. And that ain't the wust. They said he could vote when he was at home. Well, that let me out. Thinks I, what is the country a-coming to? It was 'lection day, and I was just about to go and vote myself if I warn't too drunk to get there; but when they told me there was a State in this country where they'd let that nigger vote, I drawed out. I says I'll never vote agin. Them's the very words I said; they all heard me; and the country may rot for all me — I'll never vote agin as long as I live. And to see the cool way of that nigger — why, he wouldn't a give me the road if I hadn't shoved him out o' the way. I says to the people, why ain't this nigger put up at auction and sold? — that's what I want to know. And what do you reckon they said? Why, they said he couldn't be sold till he'd been in the State six months, and he hadn't been there that long yet. There, now — that's a specimen. They call that a govment that can't sell a free nigger till he's been in the State six months. Here's a govment that calls itself a govment, and lets on to be a govment, and thinks it is a govment, and yet's got to set stock-still for six whole months before it can take a hold of a prowling, thieving, infernal, white-shirted free nigger, and — "

Huck Finn’s dad was the very first Teabagger!

(Cheer yourself up with this.) (Or by getting really drunk and passing out.)
langwidere: the everything is terrible logo (everything really is terrible)
Translating is really hard! Not the Japanese part; except for the fact that I am still looking up every fifth noun and every third adverb, and I’m still trying to contend with all the weird phonetic abbreviations (which I guess you just have to memorize, after you’re able to actually recognize them?), the Japanese language is a lot like Legos. Once you figure out how the blocks snap together, it’s not all that bad. It’s just the "forming the sometimes unrelated-looking fragments it into English" part that I’m not so good at. It’s like analyzing Shakespeare: shit could mean one or all of eight or ten different things, so you kind of just have to pick one and stick with it.

(I’m half-way done, though! Excitement!)
(But then I have to move onto comics! Terror!)

Let’s pour one out for my very last all-links post, ok? These are mostly election-related entries, so I wanted to post them before they become utterly irrelevant (instead of just "mostly irrelevant"):

» This is a pretty good summary of how badly Americans have fucked themselves in the face with this last election. (Post contains an icky and possibly NSFW image as a header.)
» This is a post about Stephen Fry quitting Twitter (again), but it is outstandingly memorable for the content of its comments. Like, you think you have seen assholes posting asshole things in blog comments before? You have not really seen assholes posting asshole things in blog comments before. These could win the blue ribbon in the Number One Asshole Blog Comments in the Universe Contest.
» Rick Warren is, in fact, a giant cunt.
» On the other hand, occasionally I am not totally humiliated by my nationality.
» On the other hand — and if I had three hands like Zaphod Beeblebrox — I would use it to punch America in the face.
» This is as clear a picture of what the American electorate wants as it is possible to take, I think.
» And, when you have an electorate as reality-savvy as that, this is the kind of trash that gets into office.
» On the "fun" side: A Harry Potter link featuring a Malfoy (who is not talking about what it looks like he’s talking about). These are fairly hard to come by, for some strange reason.
» Another batch of photos featuring a really good-looking Asian-American man. That is always grounds for celebration!
» Some dude made his basement walls into a Sharpie coloring book. Neat!

Lastly, check out [personal profile] seichan’s amazing Japan vacation photo album. Tons of really great shots! (I like this one best, I think. Very National Geographic.)

Sniffles. It was fun while it lasted, linkposts.
langwidere: i am repulsed by wholesomeness. (the only thing death note is good for)
So, as you probably know, I am sort of sick* and I’m feeling really wiped-out and pissy and moody and I haven’t e-mailed anybody in weeks, which is compounding my feelings of guilt and assholery daily, and also I made the very worst chicken pot-pie in the history of mankind for dinner and I am just in a really bad mood in general. No translations today, sorry.

I was planning a post about all the shows I’m watching this fall (I am watching several!) (What is this, 2002?) (Yes! It is!), but I get the feeling that if I tried writing it right now, every review would be a negative F minus. So: no on that one, too. I know. (Don’t cry.)

This is what I was doing last night:

Unable to restrain my intense feminine curiosity, I clicked on the MARRAIGE FIRST image. Because, really? Are we going there, Jesus?

We are going there. I got to this exceedingly strange site, which appears to be called 'Realistic Imaginations YOUTH,' and which features web graphics that depict a bloody Christ being anally serviced by an angel in the guise of Lex Luthor. I think, based on context clues, that these are exactly the sort of people who would like to put marraige first whether you like it or not.

This was the very first thing I saw.

This was also rather nice:

Haha, yes! "Forced into the king’s harem" = "won a beauty contest." That explains a lot.
And Esther is such a ravishing rubber white woman! No wonder King Ahasuerus was so eager to marraige her.

1. Dear Benedict Cumberbatch: I take it back. You’re prettier when you don’t talk.
2. Why fiscal austerity is an even worse idea than you thought it was.
3. Funny.
4. Useful.
5. Cdesign Proponentsism and You
6. Clem hates the fags! Clem hates the fags so much. Clem is not a-goin’ to wear no faggy purple clothes jest bekase sum fags killed thereselfs! (NOTE: That is a direct quote.) (NOTE: Clem is on the school board in a town in Arkansas.) (NOTE: The comments are amazing.)
7. Every 11-year-old boy in the world and I just leapt out of our computer chairs and made a wheezy lap around the living room.

That is all.

* I have some kind of very exciting hormone thing happening. It is almost like puberty, only even more awful. So far, my GP has diagnosed me with a horrible vitamin D deficiency (I have a prescription supplement), and I’m going on Monday for a thyroid uptake scan and then to an endocrinologist on the sixteenth. So, wish me luck, all right?